Sunday, 25 June 2017

Life is a rollercoaster..............Especially with Depression.

I am not doing so great at the moment. My anxiety and depression has gone downhill and as much and as hard as I try to fight it I cannot beat this battle. I don't really know what has caused it to be totally honest. I wish I did know then I could try and sort it, I have had a little slip up with my self harming, And I am annoyed at that. I am finding work tough at the moment too and I think maybe that might be what it is. I don't want to admit that though as it was all going so well and I don't like people at work worrying about me and them having to check in with me weekly because I find that attention difficult. 

I have a little break now and as much as I wish I was in Cardiff money just couldn't cover how much the train fare would of cost me and if I am a bit honest I am scared about travelling alone to any cities at the moment.

Anyways I am trying to be OK but I need to remember that not every single day or week or month is going to be amazing and that It is OK not to be OK.

I love you all lots. Till next time 

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Blurt foundation and Buddy Box


Today I bring you a fab website/subscription box that is based around Mental Health and Anxiety. It's the Blurt Foundation and there box Buddy Box.

I received one last year and I loved the idea behind it, I then ordered myself this months and it came a couple of days ago, So I have decided to review it and have taken some photos too.

Here are my photos taken of what I received and I will explain a little about it after.

First you receive the Buddy Box card with the social media outlets on the front and a little note about posting your box on social media and how to win a box for you and a friend. Use the tag #BuddyBox 

Then I had two postcards, One with a rainbow theme and birds which is super cute. And then another one with a quote. I love these to pin on my wall.

The next thing was believe in yourself cards, I love these, It is a set of cards with inspiring cards and quotes. These are going to be fab and I am going to be using them over social media and on the blog.

Then I got the super cute coaster, I LOVE this so much, Omg it is me down to a T! I love naps and llama's. 

Then my fav thing(Which I shall drink tonight now I have done the blog post) is Dark Hot choc shot, I love dark chocolate and marshmallows. And this won't make me feel like I am having a lot of calories as dark choc is good for you right! 

Next is some information and sites to where you can find the boxes. 

Blurt Foundation



Each BuddyBox contains at least 5 quality products hand-picked to nourish, inspire and encourage self-care.
The contents of the BuddyBox vary from month to month and remain a closely guarded secret. (The surprise is very much part of the experience.)
All the items included in the box are intended to make you feel good: helping you de-stress, find calm, feel pampered, relax, get creative, or simply have fun.


What are the subscription options?
There are two kinds of BuddyBox available: the full fabulous BuddyBox, and its lovely sibling – the BuddyBox Lite.
The BuddyBox (which has at least five items inside) is available as a rolling monthly subscription. You can also buy a one-off box.
The BuddyBox Lite (which contains three products) is available as a rolling monthly subscription. You can also buy a one-off box.

When will the box be delivered?
When you make your purchase, you are ordering a box for the following month. So if you place an order in January (whether it’s the 1st or the 31st), you will receive your BuddyBox in February.
Boxes are shipped from Blurt HQ on the 9th of the month, or the first working day after. We send boxes via Royal Mail 2nd Class post, so will take a few days to arrive within the UK.
International orders are shipped via Air Mail. According to Royal Mail:
Delivery to Europe in 3 to 5 working days
Delivery to the rest of the world in 5 to 7 working days

So if you need a pick up or know someone close to you that needs a pick up then go subscribe. Trust me you will not be disappointed 

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Last year and this year. A comparison

I am "better" than 2015/2016. I had so much to deal with and stuff I had not processed. I lost a dear friend suddenly and felt guilty I was not able to attend his funeral or where he is buried etc. Also a uncle killed himself after rumours were spread about him. And I lost my job that I had done for 9 years.  And my dogs died and we had a big family fall out. So a lot of shit happened and It took me a while to process it all and figure out that it wasn't my fault and nothing I could of done would of helped(apart from work) but that is a whole other blog post.

I had therapy as I have posted before and also started opening up to my doctor more, we now have a great patient doctor relationship and I have new medications that are helping more than what I was on before. And therapy was probably the best thing I could of done. It helped having someone to talk to weekly that was not family or a friend. And she helped me process so much and accept that I couldn't of helped or stopped what happened. And also the family argument helped me realise certain people were getting me down and making me worse.

I also started blogging and this has helped me too and I really want to help others and inspire people and if one person could come and say that my blog helped them it would mean so much.

I also got my tattoo done of a compass. It is in the space where I used to self harm and now I am 8 months clean, It helps me feel grounded and that home is always there and I am safe. I also cannot destroy what is beautiful and I love my tattoo so much.

Work has helped too, made some amazing friends there and some of them have mental health issues too and my manager has been amazing and I am so lucky to have such a supportive team behind me. I think work has helped too with my travel anxiety and It has helped me get back into the world and people etc. I still struggle some days and I want to run and hide but It is getting better and I am finding myself opening up more and letting people in when I need help or am having a bad day.  

So yeah compared to Dec 2015/2016 I am better. I know that my depression and anxiety will never ever go away and I am starting to accept that. I know I need to stay on my medications and I have accepted that too. What I really need to accept is how I look, I think that is going to take longer and I am working on it, But maybe one day I will be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. But for now I am just trying to accept myself for how I am and learning to love myself. And I hope my Mental Health angels are learning to love themselves too because I love you all.